And yet you can't tell me because this decision for yourself affects everyone.

Get your head out of your nook, Aradia was worried about you. You can't pull this kind of shit and expect us to ignore it.

Do you think I don't already feel bad for making her worry about me?

[He sighs]

It's not like I went off and did something incredibly stupid.

I don't know how much to trust your judgment on what stupid is.

I'm assuming you're refusing to tell me because I'll fly off the handle, in which case it was probably something fucking stupid.

I'm refusing to tell you because you'll fly off the handle no matter what I tell you and also because we will be in serious trouble if I do so let's just drop the subject and move onto something else.

I'm about the fly the fuck off the handle now. I'm judging the distance from handle to flow, preparing to take stock of my soon to ensue injuries. The time to tell me is now, because the handle is going to be out of the picture soon anyway.

You hide shit from me, why can't I hide shit from you?

Shut up, Sollux. Just tell me.

[He has a sense they are heading into the territory of discussions he is not okay with.]

No, not until you tell me what you refused to tell me a few days ago.

[Going in this direction was a good idea, he might not have to tell Karkat about anything after all.]

What would that be.

[He clearly knows what Sollux is talking about, he just wants to make him come out and say it.]

We were talking about your blood color after I punched you then you said something about the situation being complicated and you got over protective when I asked how it was complicated.

Okay, excellent. Here's my answer to you: take your fist and shove it as far up your spinal crevice as you can. When you've finished with that, I'll share with you my personal business which does not in any way have anything to do with you, unlike your bullshit situation which does involve me if you 'can't tell me or something will happen to all of us.'

My personal problems and my blood are not and will never be any of your business, so fuck you for bringing it up.

If you can't trust me with something important like your blood color, then I can't trust you with something important like what I went to do.

Yes, it's the same thing?

You know what? Fuck this. If you tell me about your bullshit errand that I have good reason to want to know about, then I will repay you by satisfying your curiosity about something private about myself I prefer not to talk about and tell you my fucking blood color.

So go ahead, tell me, assfuck.

[Woah shit, what?]

...are you serious?

Yes, I'm serious. I can't say I won't punch you in the face again for essentially blackmailing me with my genuine concern about this situation to find out a juicy piece of gossip, but I am completely sincere.

...

[After a minute or so, he filters it]

Alright, I'll tell you. Come over though, alright?

[Oh. If he had to tell Sollux this, he didn't want to do it to his face.

But he also has a sense this is important, although if he's wrong, he'll be pissed.]

Okay, fine. I'll be there in a while.

Alright, thanks.

[And he hangs up and waits for Karkat in his livingroom. He couldn't believe that he was telling Karkat this...]

[Yeah, okay, Karkat will show up in a bit. He's acting a bit nervous and cagey, but he knocks on the door before letting himself in.]

Hey.

Hey.

[He was quite nervous himself. He was pretty much sure that Karkat was going to be more then mad and he didn't want to tell him at all but they were friends. They were best friends. Best friends need to tell each other shit, even if they don't really want to.]

Okay so, I think you should talk first because after I tell you why I was gone, you're going to flip off about 10 handles and do a fucking pirouette out of my house before you even get a chance to tell me anything.

No. You tell me first. God, I don't even know why this is so important to you, or why you think you really can't trust me if you don't know this. But there is a reason I do not tell anyone, and I'm not going to stand around talking to you after I tell you, I am going to get the fuck out of here.

I promise that while I'm flying off ten handles, I will be sure to share this with you before I make my disgraceful exit.

[He sighs]

Alright, alright. Fair enough.

I was gone for two days because I was at the Condesce's house. Before you say anything, I made a deal with her that would ensure all of our safety. I told her that...

I told her that I would do anything for her, I would become her servant if she spared our lives.

Are you fucking kidding me?

[He's trying to be angry, and part of him is, but mostly he's just concerned. This is much, much worse than he thought.]

Oh my god, you idiot. Do you know how long I spent convincing Feferi not to do exactly that? Who died and put you in charge of martyr complexes?

I figured that if anyone would do something like this, it would be best to be me.

[It's not like anyone cares about Sollux anyway]

Why. That doesn't make sense. You because you're the most self-important asshole in our number, so you think you should take on all completely pointless death missions?

Sollux, she's fucking human right now, and when she's not, she's just one troll. She doesn't have a fleet, she doesn't have anything, and there is nothing permanent she can do to us. We have friends and we have numbers here. We can fight her.

There is no reason why you should have to do this.