a1a100 | (no subject)

Entry tags:

!ic,
so confused

(no subject)

Phone. Filtered to the trolls minus Eridan

Okay, what the hell ith going on? I keep hearing thit about Eridan that'th not jutht about how he'th a huge douthche. I'm obviouthly out of the loop here and I want to know eckthactly what you guyth know. Don't thkip on any detailth and if you do I'm going to be really pithed.

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Yes, there's a goddamn point. Everything on the timeline after you has gone completely to shit and is awful in every conceivable way.

If you don't need to know about the miserable excuse we have for a future, why would you want to? Oh wait, I forgot, you get off on being important and knowing things before everyone else.

Thut the fuck up! Thith ith a theriouth fucking ithue and I would like to know all the detailth about what Eridan did pleathe!

Okay. Fine.

So he showed up when you and Feferi were over on the hornpile trying to pick a fight. So you fought him, but this time he had some shitty magic wand or something that he could actually fight with, and he fucked you up pretty bad. Feferi tried to take him out, and he...

[Karkat pauses a little, finding it difficult to tell this story even though he's powering through it as quickly as he can.]

He killed her, all right? That's when Kanaya got involved, but he destroyed the matriorb and then he killed Kanaya, too.

I...I was there too, by the way. I was the one standing in the corner like a complete asshole watching this shit show go down. So since I was the key surviving witness, I know you didn't die. You just lost you stupid psychic powers and went blind.

And then later Kanaya came back to life as a rainbowdrinker and killed Eridan with her chainsaw. That wasn't sarcasm, by the way, that's really what happened.

There, that's the story of just the first series of brutal murders to go down since we last talked.

[That's actually kind of shocking and a little bit unsettling to him. If he had stayed in the Veil for only a few more minutes, he would have lost his powers, his sight, and the girl he was flushed for. After a few moments of silence, he speaks up.]

Tho, there were more murderth?

Yes, but can you do me a favor and not ask about them right now? Or ever?

Yeah, thorry.

[Welp his truce with Eridan was short.]

...Are we okay?

Yeah, we're okay.

I told the story kind of fast so I'm not sure you noticed the part where I completely failed to not be the world's most useless sack of shit. Also, I sort of dropped your unconscious body down some stairs and then put your fangs back in and pretended I didn't.

I'm just saying, there is a lot to not be okay with.

I didn't mith that part, no. I'm mad that you didn't do thit but at the thame time I don't really blame you for not acting immediately.

[He thinks for a minute]

How do you thort of drop my body down a flight of thtairth? How high do you even have to be to do that?

[You can't tell but he's face palming right now]

I'm glad I wath taken from before all of that thit. God.

[He kind of appreciates it when Sollux says he's angry he didn't do shit; he's hated himself for what happened that day for so long and it feels oddly relieving if painful to hear someone half acknowledge that he isn't completely faultless. He considers trying to goad Sollux into saying more but they are back into teasing now and it won't be as sincere.]

Yeah, you're fucking lucky. I'm busting my ass dealing with all of this.

I bet you are, a lot of thith ith parthially your fault and you probably have a lot of thit to deal with becauthe of it.

[Sollux isn't afraid to be blunt, Karkat doesn't really need to goad him into saying more because he's probably going to anyway.]

Yeah, I know it is.

I'm trying to make up for it.

Well, now it theemth that I need to make FF go to the danthe with me no matter what, huh? Knowing that he'th killed her before, who'th to thay he won't again? The could break up with him after the danthe or thomething and he'll flip hith thit over it and that'th thomething I don't want to happen.

[He sighs]

I would kill to get my thionicth back.

She's not going with him. She already knows what he did.

Good. I jutht need to reathk her or at leatht figure out what the'th doing for homecoming.

How much of an idiot are you?

I think after rekindling her feelings for Eridan and then finding out he murdered her, she probably has a lot on her nutrition plateau, shithead. Try scraping the the built up mucus off your sensitivity glands and think for a minute.

Maybe she'd be interested but don't push her into getting involved with you now.

I didn't mean to go with me ath a date, fuckwad. If the planth on going, I want to be the one to go with her to make thure the'll be okay. I'm not the kind of perthon to catch thomeone on a rebound or whatever, I'm not Eridan.

Oh.

Well, okay, then.

Therioutly KK, do you think I'm the kind of perthon to do thomething like that?

Yes? Everyone here is fucking incompetent at rom. I've been running around all day.

If anything, I don't have the thelf confidenthe to try.

Oh please. You don't have to have self confidence to make a relationship work. I should know, I'm the tyrannical ruler of the mighty low self esteem empire, and I still get by.

I don't want to fight about thith KK.

Okay, fine. Go feel sorry for yourself, I don't care.