a1a100 | >Sollux: Return home

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>Sollux: Return home

642 Hastings Boulevard

[Early in the morning, about 4 in the morning of the 15th, Sollux quietly walks into his house, closing the door behind him slowly. He hopes that returning home at 4 in the morning means that no one is awake and he can sneek in without getting caught...]

Phone, later in the day

I'm sure some of you noticed that I've been gone for a couple of days but I'm back now. I had some business to take care of and you don't need to know about it so don't ask.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What would that be.

[He clearly knows what Sollux is talking about, he just wants to make him come out and say it.]

We were talking about your blood color after I punched you then you said something about the situation being complicated and you got over protective when I asked how it was complicated.

Okay, excellent. Here's my answer to you: take your fist and shove it as far up your spinal crevice as you can. When you've finished with that, I'll share with you my personal business which does not in any way have anything to do with you, unlike your bullshit situation which does involve me if you 'can't tell me or something will happen to all of us.'

My personal problems and my blood are not and will never be any of your business, so fuck you for bringing it up.

If you can't trust me with something important like your blood color, then I can't trust you with something important like what I went to do.

Yes, it's the same thing?

You know what? Fuck this. If you tell me about your bullshit errand that I have good reason to want to know about, then I will repay you by satisfying your curiosity about something private about myself I prefer not to talk about and tell you my fucking blood color.

So go ahead, tell me, assfuck.

[Woah shit, what?]

...are you serious?

Yes, I'm serious. I can't say I won't punch you in the face again for essentially blackmailing me with my genuine concern about this situation to find out a juicy piece of gossip, but I am completely sincere.

...

[After a minute or so, he filters it]

Alright, I'll tell you. Come over though, alright?

[Oh. If he had to tell Sollux this, he didn't want to do it to his face.

But he also has a sense this is important, although if he's wrong, he'll be pissed.]

Okay, fine. I'll be there in a while.

Alright, thanks.

[And he hangs up and waits for Karkat in his livingroom. He couldn't believe that he was telling Karkat this...]

[Yeah, okay, Karkat will show up in a bit. He's acting a bit nervous and cagey, but he knocks on the door before letting himself in.]

Hey.

Hey.

[He was quite nervous himself. He was pretty much sure that Karkat was going to be more then mad and he didn't want to tell him at all but they were friends. They were best friends. Best friends need to tell each other shit, even if they don't really want to.]

Okay so, I think you should talk first because after I tell you why I was gone, you're going to flip off about 10 handles and do a fucking pirouette out of my house before you even get a chance to tell me anything.

No. You tell me first. God, I don't even know why this is so important to you, or why you think you really can't trust me if you don't know this. But there is a reason I do not tell anyone, and I'm not going to stand around talking to you after I tell you, I am going to get the fuck out of here.

I promise that while I'm flying off ten handles, I will be sure to share this with you before I make my disgraceful exit.

[He sighs]

Alright, alright. Fair enough.

I was gone for two days because I was at the Condesce's house. Before you say anything, I made a deal with her that would ensure all of our safety. I told her that...

I told her that I would do anything for her, I would become her servant if she spared our lives.

Are you fucking kidding me?

[He's trying to be angry, and part of him is, but mostly he's just concerned. This is much, much worse than he thought.]

Oh my god, you idiot. Do you know how long I spent convincing Feferi not to do exactly that? Who died and put you in charge of martyr complexes?

I figured that if anyone would do something like this, it would be best to be me.

[It's not like anyone cares about Sollux anyway]

Why. That doesn't make sense. You because you're the most self-important asshole in our number, so you think you should take on all completely pointless death missions?

Sollux, she's fucking human right now, and when she's not, she's just one troll. She doesn't have a fleet, she doesn't have anything, and there is nothing permanent she can do to us. We have friends and we have numbers here. We can fight her.

There is no reason why you should have to do this.

Karkat, if she's not a threat, then why are you even worried?

Because she's still a psychopathic bitch and you've decided to become her servant. I think that's cause for concern.

...she's not that psychopathic, she's more intimidating, then anything.

She would kill all of us in a beat of her vascular sac if she could. And that's why none of us should be around her! If she comes after us we can fucking stop her, but there's no reason to willingly put yourself in her path.

I can't even begin to tell you all of the ways this is terrible. And I'm being serious right now, listen to me. Note the lack of me being an asshole and trying to insult you. Sollux. This is a bad idea.

Isn't trying to gain some kind of alliance with the enemy a good idea though?

She'll never make an alliance with us. What she wants is the exact opposite of everything I want for us. There is no room for fucking compromise about any of this.

We need to stay away from her, and focus on protecting ourselves if she makes a move. You don't need to fucking give yourself up to her. Come on, I don't say this often, but you're better than this and you know that. You have a ridiculous array of bullshit powers, you're smarter than she is, you're even, miraculously, less of an insane douche than she is. You're worth more than she could ever be. There is no reason why she should be allowed to tell you what to do.

...I'm sorry, I fucked everything up.

Yeah, as usual.

[There's nothing hard to that statement, though. It's light, clearly meant as needling him like they always do rather than an actual criticism.]

Fortunately, this is easily fixed by you agreeing to never do that again.

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